A lot of healing can be done on your own, but finding the right therapist and having a safe space with someone who is completely dedicated to supporting you towards your goals can make the world of a difference.
Do you hear that? There's a deeply embodied, confident, empowered version of you that exists underneath the weight of the 'Nice Girl' that's been trying to get your attention.
​DOES THIS SOUND LIKE YOU?
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Overwhelming sense of responsibility for others
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Frequent unsettled feeling like you've done something wrong or not doing/being enough
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Highly sensitive to others' moods and emotions
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Difficulty saying 'no', often because you feel badly if you don't or think you 'should'
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Difficulty expressing needs/preferences
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Need for external validation and prioritizing how others' perceive
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Feel taken advantage of and unappreciated, leading to resentment
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Fear that others won't like you if you're not agreeable or cooperative
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Highly conflict avoidant and will go to great lengths to maintain harmony and peace
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Enabling poor behavior through excusing and justifying others
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Being caring, empathetic, nurturing, considerate, generous, thoughtful, sensitive are all beautiful qualities when they are access from an authentic and intentional place.
But when accessed from the Nice Girl wounding it's actually a form of over-extending, deprioritizing self, and self-abandoning.
I'll teach you how to keep all these qualities but move from the Nice Girl to the Embodied Woman.
ARE YOU A NICE GIRL?
Conflict Avoidant
Conflict makes you incredibly anxious and uncomfortable so you go to great lengths to avoid it. You often think you've done something wrong or someone is upset with you, even if they've reassured you everything is okay. Harmony in relationships and not upsetting people trumps personal needs.
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Altruistic Nature
You have a deep inner desire to help others and be there for others. You're sensitive, compassionate, caring and are very emotionally attuned which can cause you to neglect your own needs because you're so focused on everyone else.
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Highly Empathetic
You're sensitive to subtle cues and emotions, often picking up on unspoken feelings and emotional states in others. It's common for your to experience anxiety, guilt, stress and overwhelm when others are upset (or you think they're upset).
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Difficulty Setting Boundaries
You find it difficult to say no, set boundaries and assert your needs leading to feelings of resentment, frustration, and overwhelm. Even if you're aware of the boundaries you need, the idea of prioritizing yourself and expressing your needs/preferences causes so much anxiety and takes you down the rabbit hole of worst case scenario outcomes.
Difficulty Receiving
You rarely ask for help from fear of being a burden or 'too much' and struggle to accept help or support from others when it is offered. You find it difficult to trust and accept reassurance from others and are quick to deflect or minimize any compliments or praise.
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Tendency to People Please
You prioritize others' needs over you own, sometimes to the point of self-sacrifice and self-abandonment. It's become so automatic you often don't notice you're doing but wonder why you're resentful and exhausted.
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Fear of Rejection/Abandonment
An underlying fear of rejection or abandonment dictates a lot of your behavior, and often feel pressure to over-compensate and go above and beyond for others in hopes that they won't leave you or dislike you.
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Perfectionism
You feel pressured to meet unrealistic standards of perfection, leading to anxiety, self-doubt, and fear of failure.
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Overwhelming Sense of Responsibility For Others
You feel responsible for others' happiness and well-being, which can lead to stress, burnout, and neglect of self.
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you can't hate yourself into a version of yourself that you love
True, deep, nervous system level healing is done when you learn to accept and love all parts of ourselves, understand that the Nice Girl and people pleasing tendencies are well-intended coping mechanisms and adaptive behaviors designed to try to keep you safe and happy. What once kept you safe is now holding you back from the version of yourself you're becoming.
HELLO,
I'M ALETA
I trust that you're here because you've been called to me and/or my services, so welcome!
Thanks for stopping by to my little slice of the internet.
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I'm dedicated to supporting NICE GIRLS: empaths, people pleasers, highly sensitive souls and those who tend to take on the 'caretaker role'. Clients often tell me how seen and understood they feel in our sessions, and that's because I also have all these traits. I understand what it's like to feel depleted, resentful, anxious, hopeless and disconnected from self after spending decades prioritizing everyone else and doing everything possible to keep the peace in everyone else's lives. These are all traits I've come to love about myself once I learned how to harness them in an embodied, empowered way that didn't leave me feeling overstimulated, anxious, and exhausted.
If you're someone who wants to still be kind and caring and generous but do so in a way that doesn't leave you empty, you've come to the right place!
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My Why...
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I've personally felt the freedom and relief of healing the Nice Girl and want to share tools, strategies and insight to help others step into their own version of being an Embodied Woman
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I know that people want change, that they're ready for change but they need help taking action
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I believe my purpose in this lifetime is to be a safe space for others to land during life's challenges
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I am truly passionate about helping people reclaim their voice and take back control of their lives
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I want to continue to normalize therapy and help equip people with tools to navigate life
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I want to help people let go of old thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck
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I see people's desire to break free of the expectations and pressure of the Nice Girl to build a life that truly aligns